Need and Want, Love and Lust What's so different?
by KissMeLikeYouMeanIt
Summary: "His words made my heart melt and I couldn't help but smile." A little one-shot I decided to make about Haymitch and Katniss because I think the pairing is adorable. Rated T for romance  which is only very slight . R&R and thanks for reading.


**Need and Want, Love and Lust. What's so Different?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games.**

Ever since the hi-jacking, Peeta hasn't been the same; he never actually fully recovered. I would love to say I don't care but honestly, it makes me heart ache that he will _never_ love me the way he used to. We will _never_ be the same. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night from my horrible, vivid dreams and search for Peeta next to me in my bed, waiting for his arms to wrap tight around me, making it all go away. Of course they never do. Maybe I'm just selfish for never visiting him or sending letters after he decided to move away because being in District 12 was just too much for him. He was the one I ran to, the one I wanted. But did I _need_ him? What exactly is the difference between want and need anyway? Haymitch want's his liquor but does he need it? They had gotten him sober in District 13 and he seemed like he was doing okay. For Haymitch I guess it's just better to have it because it drowns everything out.

Right now I was sure that I absolutely _needed _a pair of strong arms around me to comfort me, to make me feel safe. I shuffled across the floor in my bare feet and shut my front door quietly behind me. I wasn't quite sure why I did it, but I did. You guessed it. I walked over to Haymitch's house and opened the door to his dirty floor, but I have to say mine is about as messy and gross as his. I found him in the kitchen floor, unconsious, with an empty bottle of spirits in his hand. I nudge his leg a bit with my foot. When he didn't wake up I nudged it a bit harder. "Haymitch. Wake up." Sleep was thick in my voice and I could barely keep my eyes open. His eyes flashed open wide and threw the empty bottle at me. I dodged it and it broke against the wall behind me. "Haymitch. It's just me, Katniss."

"Havn't you learned not to sneak up on me? I usually sleep with a knife. Stupid girl." He appeared to try to seem bitter but there was a smile on his face.

"Well it wasn't a knife so I'm fine." I looked around, nervous and embarressed about the next thing I was going to say. "Can- Can I sleep here tonight? I- I can't sleep alone."

A strange look crossed his face but he nodded. I headed down the hall to his bedroom and turned toward him. "Are you going to come or no?"

"And share a bed with _you_, Sweetheart?" He laughed a little and I blushed. I shouldn't have come here.

"Sorry. I'll be going." I put my head down and didn't look at him as I started walking out of his house. I had my hand on the knob of the front door when I felt his fingers wrap on my wrist. I slowly turned around and Haymitch was right there, an expression I couldn't quite place was on his face.

His voice was soft and sweet, as if he had understood why I had come here. It was mutual need, I suppose. He would keep away my nightmares and I would help him remember what it was like to love someone. Both of us needed love right now, though neither of us would admit it. "Sweetheart. Come on. Let's go to bed." He held my hand and lead me down to his room.

His words made my heart melt and I couldn't help but smile.

He took off his shirt and I was surprised to see that he actually was particually 'solid'. Not overweight, not skinny but somewhere in the middle. It's what my mother used to say was a good size- _solid_. Funny how even just little, stupid memories about my mother made my heart throb and tears sting my eyes. I blinked them away and and stared just at him. He had scars on his chest which I suppose were from his time in the Games. I _really_ looked at him and brought to a conclusion that he was pretty attractive for being about 40. I truly _needed _to lay in his bed with him, snuggling close. In that split second I thought about Haymitch, how I felt about him. Did I love him or did I just have lust for him?

Haymitch laid in bed, half covered in blankets and smiled. "Are you going to come or no?" I blushed and crawled into his bed. It smelled like liquor but I was getting used to it. Haymitch scooted farther away to the oppisite side of the bed, as if he didn't want to push boundaries.

I closed my eyes and sighed. This isn't exactly why I came here, to lay a foot away from him and have no contact what-so-ever. I scooted over to him and placed my head on his chest and my arm across his stomach. I listened to his heart, the steady beat. I felt like a baby being soothed by her mother's heart beat. This little fact made me feel so little and innocent, even though I wouldn't ever be anyone of those things.

It was quiet in his room, with only the sound of our breaths. I knew he wasn't asleep because his fingers stroked through my hair. "Haymitch?"

He didn't move or stop soothing down my hair when he answered. "Hmm?"

I whispered the words, almost hoping he won't here them and think I'm weak, "Thank you..."

This time he falters for a moment then seems to nod a bit. "Anytime, Sweetheart. I don't mind one bit."

I fell asleep like that, practically laying on him. I took up his offer and when I woke up in the morning I just decided to stay at his house. I got up before him and cooked breakfast which was eggs, toast with butter, and a glass of orange juice. When I handed it to him he seemed kind of shocked. "Still here and what is this for?"

I shrugged. "A thank you for last night."

"I said it was no big deal. Why did you really do it?"

I had to look away from him. "I guess I just like taking care of someone."

He opened his mouth than closed it, probably thinking, _If this was what she felt she needed to do to heal, who would I be to take that away from her too? _He bit into his toast and faked a smiled. "It's really good."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't eat if it's gross."

"No. It's great. It really is. I'm just not used to having people do things like this for me. It's really good."

I blushed a little bit. "Would you mind if I just stayed here for a little while? I can't stand being alone in that house with my dead sister's cat."

"You can stay as long as you want."

"You can kick me out whenever you want me gone."

"Kitty. Come here." I hadn't ever really had someone call me Kitty but I thought it was pretty cute. I crawled up on his bed and burrowed in next to him under the covers. "I like having you here. Maybe it's my own selfish needs but I want you to stay with me, here."

I looked up at him with big grey eyes and blinked away tears. It felt good to be needed, made me feel special and important. "I would like that." I leaned up a bit and planted a kiss on his lips. It wasn't soft and sweet, but hot and passionate, the total oppisite of kissing Peeta. Haymitch knew what he wanted and how to get it, Peeta was more quiet and shy about it. I liked this though. It made me feel out of control, like for once I just didn't have to worry about being lady-like or proper. I could stay like this forever, just kissing Haymitch.

At that moment I realized I loved Haymitch and needed him in my life. He would always be my one constant, the one person who could truly bring me out of my shell- and I loved him for it.


End file.
